RIP - Johnny Cochran

If the wings don't fit, then to Hell you git!

Sorry... couldn't resist.

Recent Films IV

Millions - Director Danny Boyle gets about as far away from his Trainspotting and 28 Days Later as you can imagine in this magical half-fantasy about two young brothers in Liverpool who literally have a fortune drop into their laps during the Christmas season. Requires a very large dose of suspension of disbelief, but well worth it. My money says that it'll become a holiday classic in the tradition of It's A Wonderful Life, at least in the UK.

The Upside Of Anger - Kevin Costner is the male Meg Ryan; in the right roles (baseball player, cowboy) he can be great, in the wrong ones (bodyguard, postman, Robin Hood, Waterworld Guy) he's awful. Here he's a retired baseball player who has a radio talk show and spends the other 20 hours a day sucking on a longneck. He finds a kindred spirit in Joan Allen, who's also in her cups because her husband, she suspects, has run off to Sweden with his secretary and left her with four daughters to raise. The two of them make a perfect match (note: not a perfect couple) and hit all the right notes. Who knew that writer/director Mike Binder - previously responsible for the horrific HBO series The Mind Of The Married Man - had it in him? Yes, the ending is a bit daft, but by then the film has built up so much good will that you probaby won't mind.

Hail To The Orange, Hail To The Blue

I still don’t believe it.

How can I? Down by fifteen points with four minutes to go against Arizona on Saturday - but then a couple of steals and a rain of threes to get back to eight down with 63 seconds left. I admit it: I’d given up. But then a few more steals and a few more threes and an avalanche of sound from the stands and we were in… overtime?

Overtime! Where the Illini jumped to a quick lead and Arizona frittered away a good ten seconds during their last possession [“WHAT are they DOING???” I was screaming] before the Wildcats finally heaved up a desperation bomb that fell short. Good Guys win, 90-89!

And then I resumed breathing. Either this Illinois team has just used up a season’s worth of luck, or they’re this year's team of destiny.

The signs were already there that this might be THE year: just a single loss during the regular season, the first round of the NCAA tournament games in Indianapolis, the next round in Chicago, the Final Four in St. Louis – all just a short drive from Champaign so you knew the fans would be there, and no need to deal with airlines or time zones or foreign cuisines.

But still. These are not the kind of results I’m accustomed to. I’m a Cubs fan, fer chrissakes – we don’t accept victory lightly. I’m more used to teams like the 1988-89 Flying Illini, who came into Minneapolis in January at 17-0 and ranked #1 for the first time since 1952, only to lose to the Gophers and slink out of town. I was there, of course.

And then later in the season, to make it to the Final Four (also for the first time since 1952) in Seattle only to lose their semi-final game to eventual champion Michigan, a team they’d already beaten twice that season.

So now, on to St. Louis. Bring on Louisville. Bring on North Carolina. Bring on whoever.

48 hours later, I still don't believe it. I’m not used to this.

But I’m willing to learn.

Oskee wow wow, indeed.

Recent Films III

Hitch - I was in the mood for some mindless entertainment, so this looked like it fit the bill - Will Smith is a likeable screen icon and I figured he'd lift this beyond the usual formulaic romantic comedy (see: The Wedding Date). Who would think that by the end of the film I'd be hoping for less Will Smith and more Kevin James? Smith and costar Eva Mendes play two totally unbelievable and mostly unlikeable characters, while James and his romantic interest (model Amber Valletta) are the proverbial breath of fresh air every time they're on the screen. Starts out with promise and an interesting premise, but you'll be looking at your watch by the halfway point.

Beyond The Sea - For this one, I'm going to plagiarize from James Carville's comment in the 1992 documentary The War Room: "The most expensive single act of masturbation in the history of the world." Carville was referring to Ross Perot's $60 Million 1992 Presidential campaign. Here, Kevin Spacey spends "only" $24 Million, but the result is the same: Look at ME - I can act! I can write! I can direct! I can produce! I can sing! I can dance! The singing is spectacular - Spacey does a fine Bobby Darin and is obviously enjoying himself in front of a big swing band - but the rest: merely proof that Spacey is the most devoted Darin fan in the world. I suspect that the rest of us have not been waiting breathlessly to learn more about Bobby D.

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou - I wanted to like this movie. I really wanted to like this movie, having enjoyed writer/director Wes Anderson's previous work (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums). It's by far the biggest budget Anderson has had to work with, and it shows - unfortunately. Previous Anderson films' scripts are like Swiss watches - intricate and finely crafted. Here it seems like most of the attention went to sets, locations, and special effects, proving that sometimes More is Less - and that quirky for quirky's sake might work in a short subject, but over two hours it becomes more than a bit tiresome. Speaking of tiresome, Bill Murray plays his role like he never got more than four hours of sleep a night during shooting.

Inside Deep Throat - Does a fairly good job of reciting facts (made for $25,000, has grossed - no pun intended - $600 Million) and trotting people out to deliver their reations to the film but comes up way short in delivering anything approaching understanding. Strangely, devotes precious little screen time to star Linda Lovelace and her sad experiences post-film.

The Passion Recut - A less gory version, to make it more accessible to a wider audience. Wider? Who cares - the original already made $370 Million in the US alone. But then, I found the original strangely unmoving; perhaps being a Recovering Catholic has something to do with my tepid reaction.