The Cheese Stands Alone

Had your basic prototypical visit to a fast food place over lunch.

Me: I'll have a #1 with cheese, no pickle or ketchup [price is $4.39 on the menu]

Cashier #1 [does not have a good command of English]: That'll be $5.21.

Me: That seems high - how much is cheese?

Cashier #1: 40 cents.

Me: Then the $5.21 price is wrong, it's too high.

Cashier #1: $5.21 please.

Me: That's too much money... look, if cheese is 40 cents, then that makes the total $4.79... tax is 6 1/2 percent. The price should be something like $5.10,not $5.21.

Cashier #1. It says $5.21 right here [points at total on register].

Me: I'm sure it does, but that's the wrong price.

Cashier #2 [appears to be a bit "slow", as my Mom would have said]: Problem here?

Cashier #1: [points at me, points at register]

Me: The total listed is $5.21 for a #1 with cheese, that's too high.

[Cashiers #1 and #2 look over at Manager]

Cashier #2: Hey, Jean - this guy doesn't want to pay his bill.

Me: That's NOT it at all. All I'm saying is the price listed is TOO HIGH...look, $4.39 plus 40 cents for cheese is $4.79. Tax is only 6 1/2 percent, that's 26 cents on four dollars. $4.79 plus .26 is $5.05, so the price should just be a little higher than that.

Manager: [re-ringing the order] OK, I'll take off the cheese, then.

Me: No, I WANT the cheese... but $5.21 is too high. OK, fine. [hands over $5.25]

Manager: $4.68, please.

Me: See! If you add 40 cents to $4.68 you get $5.08. Even adding in another two cents for the tax on the cheese, you STILL don't get $5.21.

Manager [clearly annoyed]: $4.68, please.

Me: Fine.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

But I did get the cheese.